Realizing How Much Others Influence My Spending: Exhibit A — Work Lunches

At 11 P.M. last night, I opened my work email—I'm not laid off just yet—and my heart sank. The subject line read: "Lunch with Joe." Joe is a pseudonym (in case you're worried I’m outing a colleague).

My boss, who makes $180,000 a year—thank you, Sunshine List—thought it was appropriate to invite us to a lunch today with a colleague who had recently resigned amid all this work instability.

By that point, my husband had already packed my lunch: leftover spaghetti with basil tomato sauce and fresh mozzarella. I was proud of it. It was tasty, homemade, and cost around $5. Now, I was being asked to go to a restaurant lunch likely to cost $20, plus tax and tip. I didn’t want to spend the money—I had a lunch. A healthy, affordable one.

And the tone-deafness of it all. A boss inviting staff to lunch while I’m already laid off (with the effective date looming), and others are anxiously waiting to find out their fate over the next few weeks. We’re all worried about money. My mind started racing. I defaulted to panic. We had just had a work lunch recently. This wasn’t a spending priority—or even something I wanted.

But out of panic and despair can come good ideas.

I waited until morning and then asked the departing colleague if he’d be okay with me suggesting a “bring your own lunch” gathering in a meeting room instead. Not only was he on board—he had already emailed our boss suggesting something similar.

So, I went to the dollar store, bought a card for $1.13, and we all signed it. Half the staff brought their own lunches, the other half picked up food of their choice and brought it along. I think it was a win-win.

We had a great time with our colleague. It was relaxed, thoughtful, and no one felt financially strained. Proof that with a bit of creativity, you can turn an uncomfortable situation into something better. Also, I'm probably not the only one who's tired of these “buy-your-own” work lunches that feel anything but optional.

To any bosses reading this: Work lunches can cause stress. They can be tough on wallets, and hard on diets.

Photo: Sea bass from dinner out last weekend. Taken by me.